Lover Dearest
by Rose Zaki
Summary: Everything was perfect, everything in life was good. Then they came for her. She left to save his life and protect her friends. He swore to bring her home. But with Natsume's life on the line will Mikan really go back with him? That's if he's able to find her at all... Set a few years on from the end of the anime (I don't want to second guess the manga storyline :))


Hi everyone :) In the process of clearing out my USB I found this old piece, I wrote it AGES ago when I first heard the song Lover Dearest by Marianas Trench and the melody made me think of a rough screenplay which expanded into this :) This will be a multi-chapter piece, although how many I'm not sure. Not loads I know that though. Anyway, I gave it a little bit of a tweak and an edit, hope you like! :) - RoseZ

"..." speech

'...' thought

Italics should only be used once (I may have forgotten to switch one of them round) at the very end. It's not exactly a thought, more of a feeling and I figured it looked better than quote marks :)

* * *

"...and if we take this part of the equation and carry it over to the other side before cancelling down then we see that..."

16 year-old Mikan Sakura tuned out Jinno-sensei yet again, looking out of the window with her elbow on top of the desk with her chin in her hand. It was the summer of their last year of middle school and it was the hottest she could remember. She glanced up at the fans going full pelt above the class's heads, the slight humming sound was almost hypnotic and she found herself on the verge of falling asleep. All in all, it was just about the worst possible time for her to be having a maths lesson, especially since she didn't get it in the first place. She knew Natsume would probably tell her off for it later when she had to yet again turn a date into a maths study session. Last time he'd thrown a book at her head and stormed out saying he was 'never ever coming back to teach such a stupid polka-dot girl and she could fail for all he cared'. He'd come back eventually, after much pouting and begging and promises of Howalon; but she felt more than a little bit guilty every time she saw his disappointment when their night together was hijacked by revision. If she called off tonight it would be even worse since it was their six month anniversary (or three years according to Tsubasa-senpai who maintained that Natsume's death threat to any guys who attempted to date Mikan along with frequently stealing kisses from her counted, regardless of neither having officially asked the other). Natsume said he'd planned something very special for her and she was pretty sure that the night was going to end differently to any other date they'd had, a fact she couldn't think about without blushing.

Mikan sighed. Maybe she should ask Tsubasa-senpai to help her from now on during their special ability classes; though ever since he had told Misaki-senpai that he loved her the two had been rather well... occupied... with each other at the back of the classroom for the majority of each class. Since no teaching ever managed to get done because of Noda-sensei's unfortunate habit of being pulled through time, they sometimes went the whole period without talking to anyone else. The actual confession had had a rather eventful preamble; Tsubasa-senpai, oblivious as ever to how women worked; had, for years, harboured feelings for Misaki-senpai who loved him back just as much but was too stubborn to admit it. Everyone knew, despite the fact they thought they hid it well. Anyone with eyes could see that Tsubasa-senpai would trip over any guy going near Misaki-senpai and that she created clones to keep an eye on his little group of fan-girls at all times. It had taken many, many weeks to ennoble Tsubasa-senpai with the courage to tell her his feelings since even trying to persuade Misaki-senpai was a total lost cause. She would have laughed off anyone who even suggested the idea; so convinced that they would never be anything more than good friends. After Mikan had finally shanghaied Natsume into helping convince Tsubasa-senpai, it was simple. It merely took a pissed off Natsume to glare at Tsubasa-senpai with a small fireball in his palm to persuade the hopeless boy it would be best to confess (though whether he was convinced to confess because it would mean he could finally kiss the girl he loved without receiving multiple clone punches or because it meant he would not be burnt to a crisp was yet to be confirmed. Mikan hoped it was the former).

From then on it should have been a simple job for him to say 'I love you' but, having no idea how women worked, he had started off telling her he'd fallen in love with a girl he met. Of course he meant Misaki-senpai but clarity was never his strong point and she proceeded to run off with a broken heart, thinking he was telling her about someone else. Tsubasa-senpai of course tried to chase after her and catch her shadow but she produced so many clones it was impossible for him to locate the real one. From there began an epic chase throughout the school, ending in the middle school section in Mikan's Japanese classroom. Misaki-senpai suddenly burst through the door and looked around wildly for a second before her eyes settled on Mikan. She'd then launched herself in Mikan's direction and begged her to hide her from Tsubasa-senpai. Before Mikan could reply (not that she would have done it any time soon since she was just a bit bewildered by the situation. What on Earth had Tsubasa-senpai said to the poor girl?), he burst through the classroom doors in exactly the same manner Misaki-senpai had and launched himself at the girl he loved; who let out a small squeak as her shadow was caught and was forced to sit down. It was at this point the entire class was looking on as if it were a Hollywood blockbuster, some even had large buckets of popcorn in their hands, courtesy of Hotaru. Always game for a chance to get money out of people, by a happy coincidence she just so happened to be in possession of a mega popcorn maker that could cope with up to a hundred different flavour orders at once. She even gave some to poor Fukutan-sensei who was crying in the corner, wailing about how he couldn't take it anymore and how cruel Narumi-sensei was. At a reduced price of course.

Tsubasa-senpai didn't seem to notice the fact an entire class of avid middle school students were watching him; and if he did notice it he did not let it deter him from his confession. Misaki-senpai was looking up at him both in horror and anger; sure she was about to have a lot more damage done to her heart and also determined not to show it. Mikan remembered how they'd managed to instead of confessing like normal people, they managed to do it arguing the whole while.

"Damn it woman, I'm trying to say I love you and you keep running away! Stupid cloner girl!"

"Don't 'woman' me you pig! How is it my fault when you start off by telling me you met a girl? What was I supposed to do; sit there and just let you break my heart?!"

"Oh, so after making me run all over the school for you, _now_ is when you tell me you love me?"

"Yeah, I do love you, problem with that?"

"Not really! Fine then! Be that way!"

"Fine, I will!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

And that was it for them; the next moment had them in each others arms kissing as if there was no tomorrow, accompanied by many cheers and wolf whistles as the class celebrated their Senpais' victory. After finally deciding they should breathe again, Mikan had attacked Tsubasa-senpai from behind with a massive hug. Misaki-senpai had ruffled her hair and laughed along with Tsubasa-senpai as she chastised Mikan for not persuading him earlier. Natsume was the only one who did not join in with the celebrations, choosing instead to send a small nod of approval at Tsubasa-senpai before returning to his manga, paying attention to neither the happy couple nor the still depressed Fukutan-sensei, who had just lost a month's worth of wages in a game of poker with Hotaru.

Mikan giggled slightly at the memories and smiled, her gaze returning to the window. These days were the best. No one was stressing out for the graduation exams yet and the good weather meant she could spend a lot of time with everyone; especially Natsume. They had been together now (according to Tsubasa- senpai and herself) since just before their elementary graduation; when she finally confronted him about exactly why he burned the backside of any boy who talked to her besides Ruka-kun or Iinchou. Really, she should have known ever since he kissed her at the Christmas party all those years ago. She still blushed now from thinking about their first kiss, despite the fact they had done it many times since. These past years had been some of the happiest of her life. She had found her family here at the academy and there was nothing that could stop her smile when she thought about it. Of course there was the dark side of her life, the constant fear that she would wake up one day and Natsume would be in the hospital; injured from a mission. Those fears were not even the worst, though she pretended they were to spare Natsume's self-inflicted guilt; that she would have to be bringing flowers not to his hospital bed but his gravestone. When he went away, she never slept, barely ate and was constantly out of her mind with worry. His workload had decreased severely somewhat lately and Mikan was incredibly grateful for it. The reason behind it was unimportant as far as she was concerned and she would take advantage of it for as long as it was going on.

She was jolted out of her reverie slightly as a white piece of paper landed in front of her on the desk. Blinking a few times as she came back to reality, Mikan unfolded the paper and read the note on it.

**Stop frowning. It's pissing me off.**

**I promised you I'll always be there for you. **

**So whatever it is, smile Mikan. And pay**

**attention. I spent too long planning tonight for**

**you to turn it into maths study again.**

**-Natsume.**

Mikan smiled despite the fact the note was his typical rude, blunt manner. He always seemed to know exactly what she was thinking no matter what. Sometimes it was just plain annoying and if she didn't know better then she would have said he was in possession of the telepathic Alice. But there were other times, times like this one, where his ability to know her thoughts was something very precious to her. She sniffed slightly as she folded the note back up. Suddenly she felt someone take her hand and squeeze it. Mikan looked down and saw the tanned hand she loved so much on her own pale one, closing it in an embrace that was so very comforting to her. She blushed slightly and looked up to meet her boyfriend's eyes who sat next to her. As expected, his deep ruby irises were gazing at her, telling her that his words were true. He smiled slightly, one of those ones only she could recognise as being one and she smiled back. They didn't break their gaze and Mikan was pretty sure they would have kissed if the interruption in the form of a knock at the door hadn't come at that very moment.

Natsume instantly let go of her hand and turned to face the front, his face back in his usual bored expression. Mikan turned back to her own books with her head bent low so her hair would hide her red face. She tried to get it under control as the man at the door conferred for a moment with Jinno-sensei. She had got it down to a slight pink when she whipped up her head at the sound of her name being called.

"Mikan Sakura?" Jinno-sensei said, serious as ever.

"Yes sensei?" Mikan asked, afraid she had been caught.

"You are to report to the middle school principle's quarters immediately without argument or delay." Jinno-sensei said, reading off a piece of paper. He looked up at her for a moment, with a strange expression that Mikan couldn't identify in the micro second she saw it. Was that regret in his eyes? "Leave your things here, this will not take long." He said quietly before turning back to the board and writing down some more equations. Mikan started to get up from her seat until she was stopped with a hand on her arm. It was Natsume's. She looked up at him with a smile that did not match the unease she felt inside.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine I'm sure." She put her other hand over his and squeezed it lightly in a comforting gesture but he did not let go. He said nothing in reply and for a few seconds they locked gazes, her desperately pleading him to let her go, that it would be OK and him begging her not to leave, to make some excuse, any excuse. Their silent stand off lasted a few more seconds before he finally relinquished her arm. Mikan breathed a silent sigh of relief; the middle school principal would not have been happy if she turned up with a rather angry boyfriend in tow. She smiled again at him as she slipped out of the row of desks and into the aisle. "I'll be back soon Natsume. Whatever this is, it can't take too long."

Not looking back for fear her smile would falter, she hurried down the rows to the front of the classroom and went out of the door. It was not until the door closed and she was away from the eyes of her curious classmates that she let her smile fade. As the unknown high school girl led her down corridors and through courtyards, Mikan could not stop the gnawing anxiety in her gut. Something very wrong is about to happen, she thought. You don't get called to see the principal unless something major's happened. But what could it possibly be? I haven't done anything have I? Mikan desperately went through the last week or so in her head, but could find no misdemeanours that would call for an audience with the middle school principal, never mind a meeting that would get Jinno-sensei so unruffled. The man was rarely seen with any other expression than indifference or anger on his face, so it was unsettling for that mask to suddenly be interrupted for her situation.

Mikan was jolted out of her daze as she collided with the girl in front of her, too absorbed in her own thought's to notice they had stopped.

"Mikan Sakura, please enter through these doors and carry on straight down until you reach the end of that corridor. When you arrive, knock and wait." the girl said, turning away and leaving.

"Oh! Th-thank you!" Mikan called out after her, slightly confused at the girl's sudden departure. She decided to just take it in her stride; so many weird things were happening right now and one more would not be a catastrophe. Mikan just shrugged and assumed that it would be clear sooner or later. She hoped sooner rather than later though because being kept in the dark about things was no fun. Mikan put her hand to the dark mahogany door in front of her and pushed gently to open it. The ornately carved wood opened to reveal a very long and very wide corridor that had rows of Grecian pillars holding the extensive ceiling up. Mikan gaped slightly as she wandered down the carpeted middle and looked at the ceiling. It was painted in a beautiful marbled pattern with the most vivid colours she had ever seen. There were deep golds, reds and purples with sweeps of blues and greens and a whole host of other colours she couldn't put a name to. She stopped her wonderment abruptly when a particular deep red caught her eyes. It was the exact copy of Natsume's eye colour. She suddenly felt very...and incredibly...alone. As if his presence was somehow gone from her. Although she could still remember him exactly, his touch, his words, his _love_; it was as if they were being taken away from her without her even knowing how. She didn't like it. She shivered and carried on with more haste, looking down at her shoes and wishing for nothing more than to be out of this place and in Natsume's embrace; the only place she ever felt truly safe.

When she had gone down the corridor for about a minute and a half, Mikan looked up to see another pair of doors a few feet in front of her. Her stomach dropped. Whatever it was they wanted her for, she would find out now. Everything inside her was telling her to run, to get out and not look back until she was in bed with the covers pulled over her head and her door locked. She gulped and crossed the last few steps to the decorated wood. Once again the doors were dark, this time ornately carved with the same abstract pattern as there had been on the ceiling. Her hand went to the door and she purposefully knocked very softly, too softly for a human's ears. She waited a few seconds, her heart pounding in her chest as she stared at the door, begging it not to open. After several agonizing moments, she realised she was being silly. She rested her head against the door and took a few deep breaths before raising her head from the cool wood and knocking once more; this time forcefully and with a confidence she didn't really feel. After a second in which Mikan had the fleeting, crazy thought that no one was in and she was being let off; the door was opened and Mikan mentally slapped herself back to reality. Don't be an idiot Mikan, she chastised herself inside her head as she walked over the threshold; just get yourself through this and then you can go back to where you belong. Stay strong for Natsume, remember what you promised him.

"Mikan Sakura. I see you managed to find us. We were worried you had lost your way in the long corridor and were about to send someone for you." The cool, ethereal tones of the middle school principal's voice made Mikan look up, her curiosity getting the better of her. Right before her sat the middle school principal with the girl from earlier on her right side. She was every bit as beautiful as she was said to be in the rumours. Her eyes however betrayed the calm she radiated, their sharpness and intelligence seeming to take in everything about Mikan and process it in an instant. Unable to hold the gaze, Mikan looked around the room. Standing on the principal's left was a woman in a smart black business suit and two men, also in suits. The man in the middle was staring at her and she felt a blush come to her face. It wasn't that his gaze was particularly lascivious but the way he looked at her made her think he was putting a price on her head to sell at a market. His pale features made him stand out from his two dark companions and the way they stood slightly behind him suggested that he was their leader. Mikan's eyes continued round the room and saw to her direct right was Persona. Her eyes widened and she flinched slightly. This was the man who had tortured and abused Natsume all his child life. He was dangerous, with the Alice of Death. Natsume had told her about it once and she had had nightmares of dark bruises spreading across her flesh for weeks.

His normally smirking expression was gone from his face however and instead his mouth was tight and his hands rigid by his side as if he was trying to hold back from infecting everyone and everything in the room. She turned back to the principle, more scared and confused than she had felt in a long time. The principle raised a hand and motioned for her to walk forward. Mikan hesitated before forcing her legs to move and not give way under her due to their shaking.

"Mikan Sakura, you have no reason to be afraid. No one in this room will hurt you, as your principle, I give you my word on it." The principal intoned, her voice softer than before, with a calm assurance Mikan felt herself instinctively trusting. She wondered if it was the pheromone Alice but it didn't feel the same as Narumi-sensei's effect so she wasn't really convinced. Mikan continued her steps, legs slightly steadier than before. As she got about two steps away from the principle, she knelt down in front of her and bowed her head before sitting back.

"Principal, you asked to see me?" Mikan said, her voice came out loud in the quiet room and she swallowed as she waited for an answer under the observing gaze of all in the room. It was a few seconds before she got her answer.

"Mikan Sakura." The principal spoke carefully, as if she was putting great consideration into her words and her eyes were zoned in on Mikan's face, obviously gauging her reaction. "You are in possession of the nullification Alice, correct?" Mikan nodded, wondering where on Earth this conversation was going. "Is it not also correct that you are able to not only stop Alice's from harming yourself but that your Alice is developed to the point where you can temporarily nullify an Alice for up to twenty four hours, depending on it's strength?" the middle school principal enquired.

"Yes." Mikan whispered. Thoughts were flying round her head now, what could they possibly want her for; something dangerous? Something illegal? She swallowed hard again and continued speaking, her voice on minimally louder. "The longest I have ever been able to do it was twenty four hours and seventeen minutes. The shortest time my Alice has ever lasted at my current level of experience has been fourteen hours and thirty eight minutes. This was on the Alice of a dangerous ability class at their request." She said, hoping that the information would be enough.

"Natsume Hyuuga, I assume?" the principal asked, her voice with a hint of amusement. Mikan started slightly.

"I-yes." She replied, fear creeping back into her. What were they going to do to Natsume? Was there some kind of rule against it? Had she somehow damaged his Alice? Was that why Persona was here? Was she going to be punished?

"I see. You are in a relationship, are you not?" the principal said, her eyes flicking to Persona's face in slight distaste before settling back on the blushing Mikan.

"Yes we are." Mikan's embarrassment made her forget her fear and a bit of indignation take its place. "Please excuse my rudeness principal, but what does that have to do with my Alice's potential?" Mikan asked with the tiniest amount of defiance in her voice. There was silence for a few seconds and Mikan started panicking, convinced she had overstepped the line and any minute was going to be hauled off into isolation for the rest of her life in some forgotten classroom.

"Potentially everything," came a voice from beside the principal. Mikan's head jerked to look at the man in the middle of the trio of strangers who was staring at her with an expressionless face. His voice was cold and dangerous, as if with the right words, he could cut a person right through. "it all depends on your willingness to co-operate Mikan Sakura." He continued his calculating eyes stony as she stared.

"What do you mean?" Mikan said, now very afraid. She looked back to the principal, silently begging the mysterious woman to give her an explanation that stopped the fear and unease she had felt for so much of today. The principal returned the girl's gaze but not with one that was comforting, instead it was regretful with a hint of pity thrown in.

"Mikan Sakura, your nullification Alice is extremely powerful; dangerously powerful, I will not lie. The man standing to my left is Mr. Thacker; the head of the Dangerous Ability class from the Boston Alice Academy in America." She said, her hand palm up and out to her left, indicating the cold voiced man. "You know about the Mark of Death Alice and have even been on the receiving end of it from Serio-sensei." At this, Persona snorted and threw Mikan a dirty look, earning him a sharp glance from the middle school principle. "Mr. Thacker has come here to make a request of you. The Boston academy many years ago received a child with the Alice of the Mark of Death. Much like Serio-sensei was, he has been kept away from other people for their safety. Unfortunately, it seems that his Alice is incredibly strong, far stronger than Serio-sensei's." The principal paused, wondering how to phrase the next part of what she had to say. "For the past ten years, there have been many Nullification Alice stones placed in close contact with the boy working to keep his Alice contained to a safe degree. However, the Alice keeps getting stronger and stronger as time goes on and the stones will soon no longer be able to guarantee the safety of the academy. You are the only nullification known to exist in the world right now that has the power to control and subdue the Mark Of Death Alice.

"Because of this, you are to go to Boston-" Mikan gasped "-and remain there until either the boy dies, or your Alice grows powerful enough to have an unbreakable and interminable effect of nullification over him." The principle said, her voice holding no emotion anymore. Silence reigned in the room for several minutes as Mikan tried to put her incoherent thoughts into words. Her thoughts swirled inside her head as she was confronted with the horror of the path that lay in front of her.

'Why is this happening? Why to me? I'm just a nullification Alice, nothing special! All I ever wanted was to be with Hotaru-chan and now Natsume-kun. Why is it, that after so long, when I'm finally, honestly and truly happy something has to happen? How did they even hear about me anyway? I only have a one-star status; I shouldn't even be on their list of rejects, never mind the one they chose. I can't leave and never come back! I can't leave my home... friends... Natsume!'

Mikan's hand clamped against her mouth so she didn't let out a sob as tears came to her eyes when she thought of her boyfriend.

'I can't leave him! Not now, not ever! If I leave...then...then everything goes back to how it was! If I leave then Natsume has no one he promised to come back for. He'll do stupid things...and take stupid risks! Besides...we were supposed to graduate together... leave together... spend our lives together. Me, Hotaru, Ruka and Natsume... me and Natsume.'

Mikan hugged herself for comfort as she saw her future dreams disappear in front of her eyes. She didn't want this; she wanted to be back in maths next to Natsume being bored. It was safe there, a place where she knew what was left and what was right; what was right and what was wrong; what was real and what was a horrible nightmare.

But here, she didn't know anything; not the difference between left and right nor right and wrong. Not the difference between what was real and what was a horrible nightmare. This place was the unknown and mankind's biggest weakness was the fear of the unknown. There was no escaping it, you were born with it. Mikan had encountered the fear before, when she first came here, when she first met everyone. But she swallowed it down and smiled those times; she was trying now but she couldn't. It was overwhelming; this fear inside of her, it was climbing and building in her chest. Her breathing became quicker and breaths shorter. Her hand came to her chest and gripped the flesh over her heart to try and stop it hurting. She desperately looked up and sought out the eyes of the middle school principal.

"B-but what if I just create several Alice stones for you to take back with you? A-and then when they run out, I could just make more and they could be sent to you!" she said, not caring that she was clearly begging. Her eyes flickered erratically between the impassive faces before her; pleading for them to reconsider and say she didn't have to go. The principal did not respond, only lowering her eyes to hide the pity for the girl before raising them and turning her head to the man called Thacker. He stepped forward and spoke to Mikan, determination in his eyes and indifference in his voice.

"That is not the only reason we want you Mikan Sakura. Your nullification Alice is extremely powerful and with the right training could be even more so. We are prepared to give you that training. The anti-Alice organisation still exists. You could be our chance to wipe them from this Earth entirely. If we nullify theirs then they will be powerless against us. You are too good a weapon to waste." he said, his tone clearly showing he thought of her as no more than a tool to be used.

"But that organisation hasn't moved against the Alice academies for years! They're not going to make a move now if they haven't after so long. There's no way you can be ser-!" Mikan cried, stumbling to her feet.

"Regardless." Thacker said, cutting across her words. "Although there is no current threat you could say prevention is better than cure. You may think this is a ridiculous reason Ms. Sakura however I assure you, no matter what, you will be leaving this room as a student of the Boston Alice Academy." he finished, his voice becoming hard.

"No." she whispered, looking down at the floor. The fear inside her was being burnt away with anger. It filled her body, every vein, every pore. They would not do this. They would not take her away from everything she loved for such selfish and ridiculous reasons. Her Alice was not a weapon, nor would she allow it to be used as one. She would be the biggest hypocrite on the Earth if she agreed to this. The countless times she had told Natsume he was more than a tool, more than a power to be manipulated would be worthless if she gave in to this. Besides, what could they do? They couldn't kill her, nor could they expel her. Even if they kidnapped her; they couldn't do anything about her refusing to use her Alice. She would gladly make the Alice stones for them; she would not refuse to help on those grounds if students' lives were at risk. However; going with them was not something she would consent to.

"Excuse me?" a voice said. It was the woman by Thacker. Her voice was incredulous and she glared at Mikan, however the girl was past being scared of the trio.

"I. Said. No!" she replied, her voice raised in anger. "I will not be a pawn for your sick twisted chess game and I will not be leaving this room as your student. I am Mikan Sakura, middle school student of the Tokyo Alice Academy; there is nothing you can do to change that!" she shouted, her hands balled into fists at her sides. She glared at each of the Americans, daring them to take her by force. She had escaped from larger people before when she was smaller and right now she was incredibly angry. That had to count for something.

"We are willing to make you a deal of course Ms. Sakura. We cannot expect you to come with no incentive." Thacker said his voice once again indifferent. Mikan tensed, apprehensive of what he would say. "If you come with us, Natsume Hyuuga will never have to go on a mission outside of this academy again." Mikan's mouth dropped open and all the fight and anger flooded out of her body.

"W-what?" she said, unable to believe that she had really heard it. Mikan stared at the man in front of her in incredulity for a few moments before turning to her principal who had begun to speak.

"Natsume Hyuuga is to be transferred out of the dangerous ability class and into the special ability class making him ineligible for missions outside this academy." the woman said.

"That is, of course on the condition you leave here with us and fulfil all the requirements of the contract. If you do not agree to this or agree and later break the terms of our demands, he will be made to suffer by taking on more than he ever has." Thacker finished, making sure Mikan knew exactly what was on the line here.

"You're blackmailing me?" she said in disbelief. All she got back was silence. Mikan stumbled back a step as everything fell into place. The reason Jinno-sensei had seemed so out of character; the reason she had felt so fearful and not known why; the reason Serio-sensei was so furious at this deal. "If Natsume no longer goes on missions...no longer has to use his Alice, then that means...his lifespan...will be preserved." she said, realising she had no choice. Mikan looked up at the group of adults, her choice made in half a heartbeat. "Do you swear that he really will be transferred?" she said. Thacker nodded and her principal picked up a piece of paper from beside her seat.

"This is the transfer form, signed and ready to be submitted. You may do it yourself if that will make it easier for you to believe." the glossy haired woman said, her voice taking on a gentle tone. Mikan nodded and took the paper. As she stared at it; her vision went blurry and a tear spilled down her face. She gasped and quickly wiped it away, then blinked rapidly to stop more. Just because the decision had been easy, it didn't mean it hurt any less.

"Am I allowed to write after I leave?" she asked, not looking up from the page.

"No." Thacker replied, dismissive of how the girl involuntarily flinched slightly at his reply.

"OK." she replied, not trusting her voice to say more. It had been a foolish request from the start; after going to so much trouble to get her, why would they allow anything that might convince her to go back. However; no amount of letters from her friends could have convinced her to come back. She loved Natsume far too much for that. This chance he had for freedom was not something she had the right to deny him, nor did she wish to. "Can I at least write a letter to say goodbye?" she asked. "To my grandfather and to my friends?"

"You may write one to your grandfather explaining things however, your friends will be told by the appropriate member of staff. Their explanation will be more than sufficient." Thacker replied. "Your things have already been packed; the only things left for you to do are to collect your things from your classroom and pack up some last personal items you may keep with you while we journey. You may deliver the form before you pick up your things."

Mikan nodded. Obviously they wouldn't wait. She bowed to the principal. "Thank you for what you have done for Natsume." she said, a small smile ghosting her lips; a mere mockery of the normally bright one she wore.

"Please, do not thank me Mikan Sakura. It is not deserved." The woman replied, her expression hidden by her fan. The sixteen year old straightened up and looked at the Americans.

"How long do I have?"

"Twenty minutes."

Mikan turned without response and started walking out of the room stiffly. It was not until she had closed the doors behind her she noticed the man waiting for her. His purple eyes were filled with sadness as he gazed at her. She ran over and hugged him fiercely.

"Narumi-sensei." she cried.

"Mikan." he whispered, hugging back the girl who he loved like his own daughter. "The staff was all told this morning. I wish there was something I could do."

Mikan nodded into his chest, squeezing him harder before releasing the man she had once asked to call her father. "There is one thing. Look after Natsume for me; who knows what he'll try to do. Make sure he takes that transfer since I won't be around to make him." She asked, giving him a smile that seemed more like it should belong on her face. "I'll miss you. Dad." said, hugging him once more before letting go and running down the halls, underneath the ceiling she had so admired earlier on. Narumi watched her go, doing a worse job than Mikan at keeping his tears from the outside world.

'I couldn't protect her. I'm sorry Yuka.'

"I'll miss you too Mikan. The academy will not be right without you." he whispered after her, knowing the reason she had run from him: to save herself the hurt of having to bear the goodbye. So he would bear it for her, as would they all. They owed her that at least.

Mikan ran through the courtyard and back to the maths room, her heart aching and eyes stinging. She paused outside the door and looked through the glass panel. They were all in there, her friends. Permy, Iinchou, Hotaru, Ruka and all the rest. They all looked so bored. Mikan let out a strange noise halfway between a sob and a laugh with her hand over her mouth. Taking a deep breath she knew it was time to go in. Twenty minutes was not that long; a tiny decimal of her life, a life that would now be lived so far away from everything she knew. She pushed open the door, noticing how the room fell entirely silent as she walked in. She locked eyes with Jinno-sensei and saw the understanding in them, along with a smidge of regret. She bowed to him and said,

"Thank you for everything." her voice came out stronger than she thought she could manage and it gave her just that tiniest amount of courage that she could do what had to be done. He bowed his own head back.

"It has been a rather unique experience Sakura; however it is not one I would exchange." he said. Mikan's gratitude showed in her eyes and she gave a small nod before walking to her desk to pick up her things. As she did however, a hand shot out to grab her arm halfway through her journey. It was Hotaru. The purple-eyed inventor did not look at her best friend; she did however tighten her grip.

"Hotaru." Mikan said, low enough that the only one to hear was the girl she had followed to this academy "we're best friends right? Time and distance don't matter. Besides, you know me; I'll never give up until the day I finally manage to beat the baka-gun."

"Ba-ka." she replied, separating the syllables as she always did in the calm voice she had. "I guess I'll wait for that day patiently then. But keep me waiting too long and I'll charge interest. Smile."

Mikan stared but the purple orbs did not come to meet her own hazel pair. Mikan gave a small, genuine smile and then pulled out of Hotaru's grasp; the promise still connecting them- an invisible and unbreakable bond. She carried on her way to her bags, heralded by utter silence from all the class. When she finally reached them, it took all her willpower not to falter under the heavy gaze on her bent head.

Natsume.

She could feel his dark red irises boring a hole into her; as if he thought he could know what she was thinking if he just stared hard enough. Her breathing sped up and tears threatened, but Mikan refused to let them fall. She would not let him see the weakness in her; if she was not strong and did not accept it then she could not expect him to. She stuffed the form into her shoulder satchel and reached for the last pencil that had rolled near Natsume's desk. Hesitating, she went to get it; only to find her own hand caught by his; the dark pigment of her boyfriends skin in stark contrast to her pale tone. She stared at their entwined appendages; trying to capture every detail, trying to capture the way it felt with his Alice-induced hot skin encompassing her cold ones. It was a warmth she loved, a warmth she wanted to bottle up and take with her so that the nights separated by endless seas in a foreign country might not be so foreign.

"Mikan." he said; his voice intense. It was begging her to walk into his embrace and let him protect her, pleading her to let him know that everything was alright and it was gonna be OK; that their world was not upturned and the fear inside him was unfounded.

But she couldn't. And it was killing her.

She unwillingly raised her eyes a fraction, nearly meeting Natsume's before she realised what she was doing and tore from his grip with a tiny whimper. Forcing herself to walk calmly down the steps to the front of the classroom to the door instead of running sobbing her heart out, Mikan felt like she was about to throw up. She didn't need a mind-reading Alice to know exactly how much she had just hurt him.

"Mikan!" he shouted. She froze on the threshold, unable to keep walking since it took all of her sanity to just stay facing away from him. His voice was angry and scared and filled with desperation and it made her heart clench tightly. Teeth gritted, she took the step over the threshold, ignoring the tension in the air and overcoming the almost magnetic pull coming from him. She took another and another and did not let herself think anything other than putting one foot in front of the other until she was well down the hall. After several paces, she began to feel safe from another confrontation with Natsume and was about to drop the mask on her face until she heard running footsteps behind her. Instinctively, she knew it was him and started to run hopelessly. Any second he would catch her arm and she would fall apart. Any second now, it would all come out and he'd once again be in danger. She heard a yell from behind her and looked back, fear splintering her heart that Thacker had done something to Natsume to stop him following her. Relief came through as the sight of Narumi-sensei holding a struggling Natsume met her eyes. He wasn't hurt. He would be fine. Natsume wasn't looking at her, being in the middle of glaring viciously at the blonde haired pheromone Alice. Mikan's eyes met Narumi's and she felt them tear up at the gratitude she felt for him. He nodded, knowing exactly what she wanted to but couldn't say. She turned and ran, wanting only to finish this as quickly as possible.

Natsume struggled viciously against Narumi's grip, determined to get free but the annoying man's grip was firm and unbreakable.

"Let go of me, I have to get to Mikan!" he snarled. Narumi shook his head.

"Natsume stop it, it's useless now. She's made her decision!" he said. Natsume stopped struggling for a fraction of a second and froze; then grabbed the front of the blonde's shirt.

"You knew about all this! Tell me what's going now and I swear to God, you use your Alice to make me unconscious I will roast you alive!" his glare intensified and Narumi could have sworn he saw flames in the boy's yes. He regarded his student sadly.

"Mikan is being taken to America to restrain a powerful mark of death Alice."

"Lies!" Natsume roared, interrupting the blonde "If that was the case they would have just got her to make Alice stones. Tell me the truth dammit!" he gripped the shirt tighter.

"She's also being trained so that she will one day be able to permanently nullify enemy Alice's. She is now the property of Boston Alice Academy and could become the greatest weapon the Academy Organisation may ever have." Narumi said, his voice breaking halfway through. Natsume tightened his grip in fear.

"No! It's not true! She didn't have a mark on her- there was no way they could force her to do that; she would just nullify any attempts through Alice!" he said desperately. Narumi's eyes met his.

"They used you Natsume."

He let go in shock.

"You are now a free man of the special ability class."

He shook his head, mouth open.

"If she had refused, the next mission you undertook meant your death."

"No." He whispered. "This isn't how it's supposed to happen." He said "I'm supposed to protect her, not the other way around! She can't do this, not for me!" Narumi reached out to the boy, who stumbled back slightly before turning and running off in the same direction Mikan had gone.

Mikan jumped at the sound of someone hammering on the door.

"Mikan! Dammit let me in!" the ferocious shout came from the other side of the heavy wood. Mikan's hand flew to her mouth as she gasped.

"Natsume." She whispered, not seeming to realise the word had even escaped her lips. The banging came again, harder this time.

"Polka-dots open this god damn door!" he yelled. Making a split second decision, she gathered the last few items off her stripped mattress into the canvas bag that had been here waiting for her and grabbed the lone picture left on her dresser, slipping it out of it's frame. They had packed all the others but this one had been left, whether as an intentionally cruel act or by accident she didn't know. It was of her and Natsume at her first school festival, Hotaru had secretly taken it at the moment Natsume had tricked her. It was comical really; since one of his eyes was slightly open, peeking to see if she'd taken the bait and her eyes had bugged in worry in a way that would have brought a laugh from even the most stoic of lips. However, to her it was so much more. Yes, she had been frantic at the time and fuming when she found out later she had been tricked; but this photo was a memory of something she held very dear to her heart, although for years she had not realised why it was so special. It had been the first time she had held Natsume in her arms. Of course her ten-year-old self had not realised the significance of this but as the years went on and the memory stayed with her, clearer than any other- the warmth of his skin, the feel of his chest rising and falling- and she realised her true feelings, the memory and the photo became two of her most treasured possessions.

She put the photo into her school uniform pocket and grabbed the scribbled note from her desk, knowing that there was no way she could give it to him now. It had been a nice thought though, like something out of a movie- leaving behind a note explaining that she loved him. Knowing Narumi-sensei; he had probably told Natsume already. Haphazardly shoving it into the open front pocket of her bag, not noticing in her haste that a part got caught in the zipper and ripped slightly to the point where one good knock would separate it from the rest of the paper, she slung the bag over her shoulder and wrenched the door open. Her intentions of striding purposefully away, leaving a frozen Natsume in her wake were dashed as soon as their eyes met. Ruby and Hazel interlocked, emotions running riot in both. For a second, neither moved, not a single millimetre. They did not even breathe. Slowly, Natsume's hand came down from it's pose by his head that had been about to hammer again. The fist unfurled and came to lie flat against her cheek. The contact felt like an electric impulse had just run through her skin but instead of flinching, she unconsciously leaned her face further into his palm. She closed her eyes and allowed herself a few seconds just being. There was no purpose; there was no Thatcher, no deal. For those few seconds she was happy...just being.

_Enough, Mikan_. She thought. _Any more and you won't go without doing something you regret._

She opened her eyes and roughly pushed him away; surprise registering in his eyes. He stumbled and Mikan took the chance to rush past him. Unfortunately; that was when his experience from all his missions came in handy and with one step she was up against the wall and he was blocking all escape.

"Stop it!" he shouted, grabbing her shoulders. Mikan stopped trying to get away from him in shock and looked at his face, desperation clear in his eyes.

"Nat...sume." she whispered,

"You can't do this. I need you Mikan! I need you because I love you! And without that...I don't know what I'll do." his voice broke slightly. She stared, mouth open. She knew he loved her but never had she expected him to admit it. He brushed back a piece of her fringe. "You idiot polka dots. Do you really think I'm going to let you do this? Every mission could be my last and I've dealt with many a threat to my life. I will not allow you to sacrifice your freedom for mine. That's not how it works." his hand came to rest on the side of her neck, thumb caressing her cheek. Suddenly, they were kissing.

It was unlike any of their other kisses. He kissed her hard, their lips mashed together. Her eyes fluttered closed and she kissed back just as urgently. She lifted a shaking hand to place on the back of his neck to pull him even closer, though it would have been a hard task considering their already intimate proximity; but her hand stopped midway as she realised what she was doing.

'No.'

Her hand fell away.

'No!'

She stopped kissing him back

'NO!'

A tear ran down her cheek as she ripped away from his embrace, finally freeing herself. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realised the only reason she got out of it was because he let her, because she had wounded him with the rejection; he did not release her out of shock. However, that was a pain she would have to deal with later; right now she needed to get out of here. She would not put it past Thatcher to come looking for her and rescind on his part of the bargain.

"That's all well and good Natsume but I'm afraid I can't return your feelings. It seems this offer has saved me the chore of breaking up with you. Have a nice life Natsume, I hope you don't mind when I say I won't write. Find someone else to love, someone that can return those feelings since they're wasted on me." she said, her voice monotone, although it took everything for it not to shake and waver. She kept her back turned to him throughout so he wouldn't see her crying and she hoped that he hadn't seen through her. He always did say she was an atrocious liar. "Now if you'll excuse me."

And with that, she ran.

Natsume stared after her. He could easily tell she was lying but he could not bring herself to go after her. He knew her words to be false, the fact she couldn't look at him while said them was signal enough but there was that tiny voice at the back of his head that suggested maybe she was telling the truth. Maybe she really didn't want him. Either way, he could not stop the hurt. It was so strong; he felt an actual physical pain in his heart, like a white hot sting. He slumped against the wall and slid down it. From the corner of his eye, he noticed a torn piece of paper. With a disinterested hand, he picked it up and stared listlessly at it. It took a few moments to register exactly what was written on it and whose handwriting it was but when he did, it was less than half a second before he was up and after his girlfriend.

'Damn them if they think they can take her away from me.'

Down the stairs, taking them two at a time he ran; using the banister to keep his momentum while going round the corners. The carpet flew past underneath his feet and he had to dodge and weave away from people as he tried to keep going, but he was slowed significantly as the people going the other way thickened. Class must have ended, he thought and he growled in frustration as he crashed into a group of students.

"Hey watch where you're going!"

"Geez cool it would ya?"

"What's _his_ problem?"

He ignored the cries and ran on, cursing his bad luck. Finally he made it down the stairs and was running down the many corridors and passageways leading to the entrance courtyard to the school. There were less people here since the students had been heading to the next class. The only people down here were students who needed to go to the office or heading down to sick room for some Aspirin or whatever. He had stolen down these so many times before; in the dead of night and the height of the day when he simply couldn't take it anymore. He had never done it so frantically though, nor had his blood been pounding so fiercely along with every nerve screaming at him to speed up. He had never done it with the intention to bring someone back rather than get himself out. Before she had come, the notion that he would stop someone from leaving was madness. Hell, he'd have sent them off with a bottle of champagne and tell them to send a postcard with instructions on how they did it. But ever since he met her, and it had taken a long time for him to realise it, the Academy hadn't seemed like such a bad place and that staying; well that wasn't such a bad idea either.

"It's time to go. Get in the car."

Mikan continued staring at the arched entranceway, flashing back to all those years ago when she had first encountered them. Narumi, in all his cross-dressing, extravagant and incredibly lovable ways had saved her from those thugs. He never did get over his love of using those bean whips. Then of course, along had come Natsume. Exploding the wall and bursting onto the scene with a sense of rebellion no ten-year-old should possess for at least another five years. His cat mask in place and fire flaming; he'd been like a superhero in school uniform. Of course then shortly after he'd proceeded to look at her underwear and try to burn her hair, ever the gentleman.

"Sakura. We're leaving." Thatcher's voice broke through her reminiscing and she nodded, scratching her eye in what she hoped was an absent minded gesture; here was no way she wanted him to see he'd gotten to her. She handed her bag to the be-suited woman and walked around to the open back seat very slowly. What she was waiting for she didn't know. She had said her goodbyes; Narumi knew not to come after her- teachers' actions endangered their students futures here after all and Hotaru would most likely be planning how much crab Mikan would owe her when she returned to Japan for deserting her. That's if she returned to Japan of course. America was a long and expensive way away and she doubted these people would let her go now they had her. The rest of her classmates would still be trying to figure out what was going on- it's not every day the resident idiot gets pulled out of school to go across the world to fight an enemy that didn't even exist anymore.

And then there was Natsume; the boy who had been left standing outside her door rejected and heart broken. She felt a sharp pain at that and a grim smile flitted across her mouth. That would be a nice little reminder for years to come of just how awful a person she was. She wondered if she'd done the right thing not giving him the letter. IT was right in the sense she was protecting him from any rescinding on the deal, but had it been right by him? She loved him more than she could properly articulate; it felt unbelievably wrong to leave without telling him that.

"Sakura, we don't have time for sentiments."

Mikan threw Thatcher as scathing a glare as she could muster but he wasn't looking in her direction, he was already conferring with the woman on the route to the airport. She took one last look around her and took a deep breath in. There was the scent of textbooks from the classrooms and strange chemicals from the labs that made her curious as to what Nonoko-chan had created this time. There may even have been the faintest aroma of Howalon but that was most likely her imagination. Knowing she could not delay any longer, Mikan finally slid into the black leather seat. The male half of Thatcher's entourage shut the door for her, sealing her in a cocoon. She could hear muffled voices outside and looked out through the back window. The majestic appearance of the Academy, red bricked and towered would be the last thing she saw of this place. She took a mental snapshot of it and promised herself that she would fill it with her imagination in the dead of night with the faces of all her friends to keep her company when she couldn't sleep. Iinchou's nervous hand flapping; Hotaru's cool expression, hitting poor Ruka with her baka gun; Koko's dopy laugh as he read Sumire's mind, her irritated eyebrow twitching. Anna and Nonoko-chan giggling over the latest crazy ploy to get Misaki-sensei to ask one of them out. Natsume's stoic expression and his infuriating little smirks, head stuck in a manga while peeking over the top when he thought she wouldn't see.

She sighed and turned back around. She had to remember why she was doing this; that was the important thing. Suddenly, the voices outside the car became raised and a new one joined the noise, although it seemed like a shout from further away. Mikan turned back in confusion to look out of the window again but the trunk lid was now up and blocking her view. She moved her head in frustration, trying to see what was going on. Thatcher and his subordinates slid quickly into the car and the trunk was closed.

"What's going on?" she said, thoroughly confused as to why they seemed so urgent. She got no answer from them but instead heard a shout from outside of the car.

"...kan!...Mikan loo..."

'Huh? What the hell is that?'

She looked out of her side window but could see nothing, only the scenery slowly start to shift.

"God...mit...look at...polka...idiot!" came the shout again and she looked to Thatcher to see what was going on but the man's expression was totally neutral as he stared straight ahead.

"MIKAN! LOOK OUT OF THE BACK WINDOW YOU POLKA-DOTTED IDIOT!"

She gasped.

"Natsume!" she said, swiftly turning in her seat. He was sweating, his eye's wild and he was running full pelt to catch up to the car, but it wasn't working.

"Put more of your Alice into it. It will be troublesome if we linger here any longer." Thatcher said to the woman driving. It was then that Mikan noticed she wasn't actually steering. Mikan's eyes widened as the realisation that the car was being Alice driven dawned on her. It made sense, she guessed; it was faster and cheaper than using real fuel. Just as the car began to pick up some speed, Mikan discreetly closed her eyes and used her nullification, causing the car to judder to a stop.

"God dammit!" Thatcher shouted, throwing a filthy look at Mikan before lunging forward to roughly grab the steering wheel. "Get this thing going again." He hissed, panicked at the though they might lose the Nullification girl at the last minute. Natsume caught up the car in a matter of seconds and slammed his hands on her side window. She frantically searched for a button to wind it down but she found none.

"You're a horrible liar Polka." he shouted, his voice muffled against the glass. Tears filled her eyes and she put her hand against his on the opposite side of the glass, drowning hazelnut meeting piercing ruby

"I love you Natsume" she said, her voice thick with tears. It was through a window but the fire wielder must have read her lips because he nodded and shouted back.

"Promise you'll come back to me Mikan!"

She gazed at him. Wanting nothing more than to promise his pleading, desperate eyes she would, she opened her mouth before closing it and shaking her head desperately, unable to meet his eyes any longer.

He stared back at her steady and unflinching, his eyes telling her everything.

'Then I will come for you.'

There was nothing she could do. She kissed the palm of her hand and placed it back against the glass where his was on the other side before slowly releasing the nullification. The car rolled forward and this time, Natsume let it leave; the glass sliding away from his stationary hand. She gave him a brief smile, bright on her tear tracked cheeks before she turned to look out of the front of the car. She knew he was still looking, still standing there; wishing for some miracle to bring her back. All too soon the car turned out of the gates and bore Mikan away from Alice Academy.

"Natsume."

He didn't turn, despite the strangled whisper of Ruka's voice.

"She's gone?" the question was strained.

"...Yes." he replied, his voice flat.

"Did you tell her in time?" called a new voice; one that was as flat as Natsume's with more than a hint of condescension and the threat of violence were he to give the wrong answer.

"Yes." Natsume finally turned around and received a satisfied nod from the naturally pale girl.

"Well done Hyuuga. Nice to see that you finally got over your surprisingly massive irrational tendencies." Hotaru said tartly, choosing to insult the boy instead of show her sadness. Mikan would never let her live it down otherwise; she could already picture the girl attempting a rugby tackle hug. Although, if she were lucky enough to see Mikan again she might let Mikan hug her one time, just that one time.

"Hn." He replied and he began to walk back into the school, shoving his hands violently into his pockets to disguise the fact they were shaking ever so slightly. From fear, anger or sadness he didn't know but he certainly wasn't waiting to find out while stood in front of the whole school where anyone could see him.

'Just get to your room Natsume. Just get there where no one can see and then you can fall apart.'

He felt Ruka lay a hand on his shoulder and he felt slightly stronger inside at the support. He knew that when he managed to face the world again, Ruka would be there ready and waiting to face it with him.

However, Natsume had still lost the most important person to him and blows like that aren't exactly easy. The slow walk back up to his room felt like an eternity, the dark mahogany panelled walls faded into grey and the richly decorated carpet dulled and lost its pattern. He left Hotaru and Ruka at the door to the special star quarters of the middle school dorms and pushed it shut with a last fleeting glance that tried in vain to show a glimmer of something positive but failed with epic proportions. Needless to say, when his girlfriend firmly led him out of the dorm block, Ruka did not feel at ease.

Natsume walked calmly over to the bed and lay down, one hand under his head, the other palm up by his side, a small flickering ball of fire lit.

It was not until the fire-proof coating on his ceiling was black to the point of uselessness he allowed himself to cry.

_I will bring you back Mikan, I will find you again._

* * *

__If you haven't given up on the story already then yay thank you! I hope you liked it :) Please review, favourite, follow, whatever floats your boat and of course criticism is always welcome (though please make it constructive, otherwise it helps no one :L)

-RoseZ


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